How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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