How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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