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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?
One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?
In their Sleevies!
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?
You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?
There was an empty seat.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?
Because they taste funny!
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese.
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Don't trust atoms,
they make up everything.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?
A jump rope.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?
Porkchop
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.
"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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