How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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