How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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