How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.

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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.

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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.

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