How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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