How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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