How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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