How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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