How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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