How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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