How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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