How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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