How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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