How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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