How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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