How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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