How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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