How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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