How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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