How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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