How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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