How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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