How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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