How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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