How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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