How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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