How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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