How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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