How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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