How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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