How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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