How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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