How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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