How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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