How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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