How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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