How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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