How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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