Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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