How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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