How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!

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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.

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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.

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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.

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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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