How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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