How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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