How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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