How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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