How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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