How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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