How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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