How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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