How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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