How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?

. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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