How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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