How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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