How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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A seal walks into a club...
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