How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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