How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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