How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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