How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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