How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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