How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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