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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?
The Trump Card
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.
I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?
A can of people.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?
With flood lighting.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?
To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?
Hair Force One!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can't tuna fish.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?
Silverware.
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