How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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