How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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