How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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