How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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