How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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