How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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