How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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