How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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