How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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