How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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