How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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