How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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