How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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