How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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