How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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