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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?
Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?
A natural major.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?
They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What did the clock do after it ate?
It went back four seconds!
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What do you call a scared train?
A fright train!
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How many apples grow on a tree?
All of them.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?
A lawn moo-er.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?
A blackboard.
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Why don't honest people need beds?
They don't lie.
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