How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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