How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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