How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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