How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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