How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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