How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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