How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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