How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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