How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How many BBS jokers does it take to tell yet another LBJ?

1,622. One to tell the original joke, and the rest to submit give some minor variation of it! For example:
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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