How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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