How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.

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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.

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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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