How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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