How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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