How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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