How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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