How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore

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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".

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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.

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