How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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