How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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