How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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