How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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