How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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