How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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