How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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