How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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