How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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