How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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