How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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