How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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