How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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