How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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