How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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