How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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