How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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