How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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A seal walks into a club...
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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