How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.

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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!

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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh

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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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