How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.

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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.

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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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