How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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