How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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