How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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