How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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