How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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