How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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