How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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