How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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