How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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