How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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