How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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