How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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