How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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