How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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