How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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