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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?
Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?
Hiss-story
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Why does a dog wag its tail?
Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,
I just can't think of one atm.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?
Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?
A Flat Major
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?
Its shadow
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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