How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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