How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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