How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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