How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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