How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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