How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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