How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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