How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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