How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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