How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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