How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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