How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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