How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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