How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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