How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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