How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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