How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.




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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."

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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.

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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.

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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.

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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.

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