How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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