How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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