How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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