How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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