How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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