How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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