How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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