How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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