How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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