How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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