How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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