How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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