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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?
None. That's a software problem.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.
Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What did the flag say to the pole?
Nothing, it just waved.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?
It was in a jam!
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What's the tallest building in the world?
The library, because it has the most stories.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?
Sandy Claws.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?
"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?
White vans.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?
A polygon
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?
Some day my prints will come.
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