How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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