How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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