How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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