How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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