How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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