How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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