How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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