How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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