How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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