How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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