How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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