How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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