How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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