How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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