How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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