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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?
When the big hand touches the little hand
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?
None. That's a software problem.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?
2 years old.
Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?
Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?
Stick his bill up his ass.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?
Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?
3 blind mice.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?
On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?
Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.
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