How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.

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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut

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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean

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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.

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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.

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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.

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