How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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