How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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