How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.

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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g

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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.

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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.

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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.

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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.

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