How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.

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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.




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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."

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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.

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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.

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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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