How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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