How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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