How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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