How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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