How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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