How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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