How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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