How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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