How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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