How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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