How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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