How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.

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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.

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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.

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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel

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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.

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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."

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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel

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