How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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