How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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