How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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