How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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