How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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