How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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