How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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