How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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