How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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