How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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