How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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