How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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