How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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