How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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