How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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