How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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