How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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