How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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