How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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