How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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