How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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