How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.

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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.

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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.

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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.

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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.

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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops

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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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