How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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