How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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