How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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