How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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