How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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