How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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