How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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