How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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