How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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