How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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