How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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