How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.

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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.

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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang

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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck

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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!

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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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