How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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