How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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