How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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