How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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