How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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