How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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