How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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