How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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