How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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