How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.

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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop

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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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