How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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