How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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