How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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