How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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