How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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