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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?
Scarespray!
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What do aliens on the metric system say?
Take me to your liter.
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Why is b always cool?
Because it's between ac.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?
Because he was feeling crumby.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?
A swordfish
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?
A funky chicken.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Why did the cow cross the road?
Because the chicken was on vacation.
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