How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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