How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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