How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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