How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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