How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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