How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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