How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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