How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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