How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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