How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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