How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.

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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!

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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer

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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board

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