How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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