How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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