How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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