How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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