How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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