How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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