How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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