How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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