How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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