How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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