How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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