How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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