How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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