How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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