How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.

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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle

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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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A seal walks into a club...



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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.

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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.

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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.

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