How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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