How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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