How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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