How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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