How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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