How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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