How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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