How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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