How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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