How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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