How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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