How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.

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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.

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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to

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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?

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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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