How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.

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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?

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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.

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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.

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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.

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