How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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