How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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