How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.

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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.

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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda

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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.

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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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