How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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