How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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