How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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