How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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