How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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