How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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