How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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