How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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