How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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