How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.

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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over

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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?

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