How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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