How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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