How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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