How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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