How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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