How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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