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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?
It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?
The Elfabet.
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Why did the cow cross the road?
Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?
He took them to a pignic.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?
I'm still working on it.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.
But that's just nuts
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?
Feyonce
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?
Plug its nose.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?
She wanted to reach the high notes!
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