How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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