How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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