How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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