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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?
It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?
Take the words out of his mouth
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What goes under your feet and over your head?
A jump rope.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?
A porcupine with split ends
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?
A try and try and try-ceratops
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Went to the corner shop -
bought 4 corners.
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How is a dog like a telephone?
It has a collar I.D.
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Went to the paper shop -
it had blown away.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!
You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"
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