How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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