How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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