How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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