How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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