How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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