How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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