How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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