How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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