How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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