How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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