How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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