How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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