How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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