How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.


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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.

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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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