How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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