How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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