How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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