How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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