How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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