How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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