How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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