How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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