How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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