How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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