How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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