How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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