How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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