How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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