How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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