How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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