How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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