How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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