How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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