How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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