How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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