How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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