How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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