How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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