How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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