How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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