How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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