How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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