How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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