How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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