How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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