How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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