How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.

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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!

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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.

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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"

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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!

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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs

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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis

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