How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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