How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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