How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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