How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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