How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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