How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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