How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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