How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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