How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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