How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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