How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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