How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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