How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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