How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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