How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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