How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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