How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.

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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.

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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle

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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.

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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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