How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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