How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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