How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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