How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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