How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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