How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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