How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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