How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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