How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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