How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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