How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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