How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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