How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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