How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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