How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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