How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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