How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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