How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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