How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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