How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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