How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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