How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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