How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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