How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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