How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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