How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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