How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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