How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?


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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.

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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.

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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.

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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).

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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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