How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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