How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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