How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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