How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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