How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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