How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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