How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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