How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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