How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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