How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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