How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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