How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''

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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.

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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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