How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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