How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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