How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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