How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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