How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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