How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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