How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''

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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.


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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"


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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.

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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.

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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."

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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.

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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".

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