How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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