How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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