How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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