How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''

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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!

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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish

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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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