How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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