How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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