How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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