How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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