How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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