How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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