How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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