How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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