How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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