How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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