How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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