How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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