How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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