How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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