How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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