How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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