How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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