How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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