How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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