How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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