How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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