How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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