How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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A seal walks into a club...
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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