How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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