How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''

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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.

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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom

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