How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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