How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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