How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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