How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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