How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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