How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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