How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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