How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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