How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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