How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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