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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?
Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?
To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.
It came in at quarter past four.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?
In the dictionary.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What do you call a young army?
Infantry.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?
No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?
He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do whales eat?
Fish and ships.
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