How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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