How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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