How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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