How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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