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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?
Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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Clowns divorce:
custardy battle.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?
Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.
When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,
if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?
Squeaky clean
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?
A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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