How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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