How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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