How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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