How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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