How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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