How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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