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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?
Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.
But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?
To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What was the first animal in space?
The cow that jumped over the moon
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?
Wet feet.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?
His "ghoul" friend!
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"
I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.
The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?
Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What do planets like to read?
Comet books!
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