How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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