How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!

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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!

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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.

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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"

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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.


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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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