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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?
Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta
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Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work.
There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?
On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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How does a dog stop a video?
He presses the paws button.
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?
Punch.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.
Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
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