How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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