How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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