How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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