How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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