How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.

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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic

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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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