How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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