How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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