How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.

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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!

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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!

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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.

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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated

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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.

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