How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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