How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.

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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.

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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.

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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.

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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.

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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut

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