How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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