How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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