How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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