How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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