How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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