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How many lawyer jokes are there?
Only three. The rest are true stories.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?
Bone appetit!
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?
Because it gave him a big wave!
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.
"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?
Alley cats.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.
but enough about Kanye West.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?
Slippers!
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How does a penguin build it's house?
Igloos it together.
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