How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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