How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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