How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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