How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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