How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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