How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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