How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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