How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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