How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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