How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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