How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.

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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.

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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...

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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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