How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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