How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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