How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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