How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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