How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness� as the industry standard.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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