How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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