How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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