How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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