How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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