How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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