How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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