How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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