How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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