How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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