How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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