How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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