How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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