How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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