How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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