How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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