How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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