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How many lawyer jokes are there?
Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?
Santa paws!!!
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?
Do you believe in humans?
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,
but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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What was the first animal in space?
The cow that jumped over the moon
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?
No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?
Shocked.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.
It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?
Plug its nose.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?
A watch dog.
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