How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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