How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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