How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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