How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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