How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats

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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.

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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.

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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess

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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.

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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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