How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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