How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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