How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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