How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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