How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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