How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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