How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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