How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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