How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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