How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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