How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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