How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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