How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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