How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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