How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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