How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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