How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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