How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.

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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.

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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck

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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.

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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.

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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.

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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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