How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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