How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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