How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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