How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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