How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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