How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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