How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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