How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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