How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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