How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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