How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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