How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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