How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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