How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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