How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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