How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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