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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?
Terrorists have sympathizers
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?
Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?
They both come in tots.
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What would you call a humorous knee?
Fun-ny!
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Where can you find a good lawyer?
In the cemetery
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?
He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?
To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?
A rash of good luck.
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