How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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