How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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