How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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