How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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