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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?
Wet feet.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?
Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What do bees do with their honey?
They cell it.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!
If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"
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What is at the end of everything?
The letter G.
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When should you buy a bird?
When it's going cheep!
Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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