How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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