How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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