How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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