How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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