How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.

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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.

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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.

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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...

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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.

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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.

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