How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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