How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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