How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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