How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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