How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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