How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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