How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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