How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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