How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.

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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.

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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.

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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.

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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.

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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.

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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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