How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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