How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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