How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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