How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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