How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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