How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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