How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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