How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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