How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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