How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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