How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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