How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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