How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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