How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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