How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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