How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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