How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.


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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.

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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.

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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.

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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.

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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic

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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison

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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.

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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them

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