How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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