How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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