How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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