How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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