Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
or
Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
or
Chile.
or
To get to the baaaaarber shop
or
Three skunks fighting over a pickle
First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
or
Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
or