How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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