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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?
Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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Where do orcas hear music?
Orca-stras
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Where do cars go for a swim?
At the carpool!
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Why does a dog wag its tail?
Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?
Everyone is happy when the case is closed
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How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?
A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?
Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?
Bugs Bunny.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?
When you're a mouse.
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