How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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