How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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