Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
or
Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.
or
Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
or
The letter G.
or
Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
or
The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
or