How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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