How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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