How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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