How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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