How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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