How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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