How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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