How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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