How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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A seal walks into a club...
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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