How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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