How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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