How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.


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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.

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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.

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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.

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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed

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