How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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