How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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