How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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