How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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