How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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