How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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