How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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