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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?
One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?
Because of the bark
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?
Time to get a new bed
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?
The Trump Card
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Where do fortune tellers dance?
At the crystal ball.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?
I'm outtie here!
Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?
Three:
One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and
one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.
I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer
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