How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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