How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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