How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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