How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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