How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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