How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.


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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.

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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?

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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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