How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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