How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.


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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...

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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark

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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.

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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.

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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet

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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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