How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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