How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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