How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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