How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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