How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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