How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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