How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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