How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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