How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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