How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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