How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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