How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.


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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.

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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.

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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?

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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.

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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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