How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.


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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish

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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me

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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.

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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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