How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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