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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?
One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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Don't trust atoms,
they make up everything.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?
Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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I tried nutella on some salmon
got salmonella.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,
but I don't want one of them for my husband".
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What is up in the air and wobbles?
A jellycopter
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Why do you bring fish to a party?
Because it goes good with chips.
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What fish only swims at night?
A starfish.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?
[De-Calf-Inated]
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