How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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