How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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