How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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