How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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