How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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