How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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