How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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