How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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