How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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