How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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