How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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