How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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