How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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