How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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