How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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