How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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