How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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