How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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