How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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