How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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