How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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