How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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