How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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