How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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