How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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