How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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