How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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