How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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