How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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