How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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