How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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