How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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