How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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