How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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