How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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