How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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