How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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