How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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