How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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