How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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