How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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