How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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