How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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