How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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