How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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