How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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