How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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