How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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