How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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