How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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