How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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