How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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