How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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