How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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