How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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