How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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