How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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