How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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