How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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