How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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