How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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