How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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