How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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