How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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