How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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