How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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