How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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