How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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