How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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