How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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