How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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