How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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