How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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