How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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