How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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