How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.

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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.

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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story

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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink

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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.

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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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