How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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