How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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