How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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