How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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