How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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