How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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