How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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