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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Depends on what you want to change it into.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?
A porcupine with split ends
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What did one ion say to the other?
I've got my ion you.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?
Not enough cement.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.
When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?
He wanted his soil to be rich!
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What's a frog's favorite drink?
Croak-a-cola.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".
I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What's the tallest building in the world?
The library, because it has the most stories.
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