How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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