How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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