How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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