How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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