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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Depends on what you want to change it into.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".
I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?
That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,
I just can't think of one atm.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
H2O cubed.
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What type of cars do elves drive?
Toy-otas.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?
A shampoodle
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Where do you get whales weighed?
At the Whale-weigh station.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?
None, because they were copycats
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