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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Depends on what you want to change it into.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?
The bucket.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?
From chasing parked ambulances.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.
Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.
I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?
Plug its nose.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing
but you accidentally say Mother.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.
That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?
Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!
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