How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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