How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.

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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.

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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.

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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet

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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g

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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.

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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?

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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.

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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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