How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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