How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.

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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.

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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.

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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".

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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.

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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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