How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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