How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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