How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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