How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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