How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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