How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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