How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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