How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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