How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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