How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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