How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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