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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?
Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?
It was in a pickle!
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?
A chili dog on a bun.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?
A baboom
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.
The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?
Wet feet.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,
I just can't think of one atm.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?
Ice cream.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then
*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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How many
does it take to screw in a light bulb?
10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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