How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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