How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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