How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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