How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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