How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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