How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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