How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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