How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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