How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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