How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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