How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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