How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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