How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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