How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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