How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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