How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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