How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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