How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.

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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!

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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge

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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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