How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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