How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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