How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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