How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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