How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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