How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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