How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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