How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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