How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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