How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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