How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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