How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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