How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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