How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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