How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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