How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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