How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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