How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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