How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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