How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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