How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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