How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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