How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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