How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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