How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.

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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva


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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.

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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"

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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.

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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!

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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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