How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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