How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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