How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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