How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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