How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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