How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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