How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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