How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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