How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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