How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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