How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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