How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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