How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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