How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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