How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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