How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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