How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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