How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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