How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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