How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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