How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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