How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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