How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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