How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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