How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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