How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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