How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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