How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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