How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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