How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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