How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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