How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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