How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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