How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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