How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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