How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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