How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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