How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.

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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.

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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.

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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.

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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze

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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.

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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.

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