How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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