How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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