How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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