How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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