How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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