How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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