How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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