How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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