How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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