How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.

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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!

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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.

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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah

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