How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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