How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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