How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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