How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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