How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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