How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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