How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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