How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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