How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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