How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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