How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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