How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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