How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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