How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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