How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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