How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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