How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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