How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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