How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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