How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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