How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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