How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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