How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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