How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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