How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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