How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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