How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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