How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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