How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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