How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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