How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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