How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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