How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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