How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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