How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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