How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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