How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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