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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?
One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?
They both whine alot!
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?
The baaaahamas
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?
Some day my prints will come.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?
Because he was bald!
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"
The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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