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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?
Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?
Because he wears a size "S".
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What happens when frogs park illegally?
They get toad.
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What did the clock do after it ate?
It went back four seconds!
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?
They take short cuts!
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?
Do you believe in humans?
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How do you catch a squirrel?
Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?
Outlaws are wanted.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
Because it's in the ground state.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?
It needed to be trimmed.
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