How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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