How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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