How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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