How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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