How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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