How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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