How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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