How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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