How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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