How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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