How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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