How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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