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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?
Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.
That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.
It's a total rip-off.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??
None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?
Everyone is happy when the case is closed
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?
From chasing parked ambulances.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?
A mouse on vacation.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?
Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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Which day do fish hate?
Fryday
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