How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.


GOOD		CRAP

or

My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"


GOOD		CRAP

or

I've got my ion you.


GOOD		CRAP

or

New Jersey got to pick first.


GOOD		CRAP

or

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.


GOOD		CRAP

or

A car only has one horn.


GOOD		CRAP

or

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.


GOOD		CRAP

or

[Period]


GOOD		CRAP

or

An embarrased mime!


GOOD		CRAP

or

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?


GOOD		CRAP

or