How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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