How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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