How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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