How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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