How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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