How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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