How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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