How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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