How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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