How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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