How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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