How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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