How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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