How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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