How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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