How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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