How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.


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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk

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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.

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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.

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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.

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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.

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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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