How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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