How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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