How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.


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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.

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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.

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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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