How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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