How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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