How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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