How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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