How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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