How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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