How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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