How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.


GOOD		CRAP

or

My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"


GOOD		CRAP

or

"Would you like fries with that?"


GOOD		CRAP

or

Your breath!


GOOD		CRAP

or

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"


GOOD		CRAP

or

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.


GOOD		CRAP

or

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."


GOOD		CRAP

or

Because he was outstanding in his field.


GOOD		CRAP

or

It'll come back to me.


GOOD		CRAP

or

Croak-a-cola.


GOOD		CRAP

or