How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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