How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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