How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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