How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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