How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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