How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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