How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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