How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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