How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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