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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,
it was a shitzu."
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?
A fence.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?
Three skunks fighting over a pickle
First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
Their lips are moving.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,
he's bisatchel.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?
White vans.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?
When the door is open.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?
In a snow bank!
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?
Me-ow
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