How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.

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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.

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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.

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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.

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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess

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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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