How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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