How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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