How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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