How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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