How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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