How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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