How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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