How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.

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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.

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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang

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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.

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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.

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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.

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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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