How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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