How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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