How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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