How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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