How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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