How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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