How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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