How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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