How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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