How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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