How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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