How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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