How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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