How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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