How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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