How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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