How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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