How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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