How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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