How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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