How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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