How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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