How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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