How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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