How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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