How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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