How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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