How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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