How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.

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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.

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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.

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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.

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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.

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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"



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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.

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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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