How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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