How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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