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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?
Skeet.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.
It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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How is a dog like a telephone?
It has a collar I.D.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?
He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?
A centipede on its back!
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How did the egg cross the road?
It scrambled across!
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?
The batter.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?
Croak-a-cola.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?
Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.
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