How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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