How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.

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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!

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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.


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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.

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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.

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