How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.

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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.

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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.

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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.

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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!

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