How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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