How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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