How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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