How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.

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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.

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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.

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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.

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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.

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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)

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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.

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