How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.

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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.

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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan

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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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