How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.

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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.

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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.


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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.

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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck

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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.

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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.

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