How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.

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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.

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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.

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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.

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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?

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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats

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