How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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