How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
Canvas not available.

or


What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
Canvas not available.

or


I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
Canvas not available.

or


How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
Canvas not available.

or


I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
Canvas not available.

or


What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
Canvas not available.

or


Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
Canvas not available.

or


Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
Canvas not available.

or


How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
Canvas not available.

or


The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
Canvas not available.

or






© Copyright crapjoke.com 2017-2025