How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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