How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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