How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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