How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.

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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer

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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.

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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.

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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).


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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom

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