How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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