How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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