How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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