How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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