How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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