How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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