How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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