How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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