How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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