How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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