How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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