How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.

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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.

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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"

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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.

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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.

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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.

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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.

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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.

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