How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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