How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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