How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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