How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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