How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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