How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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