How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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