How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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