How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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