How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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