How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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