How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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