How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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