How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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