How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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