How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.

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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.

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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit

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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.

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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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