How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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