How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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