How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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