How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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