How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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