How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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