How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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