How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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