How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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