How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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