Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
or
You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
or
Three:
One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and
one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
or
and says make me one with everything.
or
On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
or
Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
or
He made an illegal ewe turn.
or
Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
or