How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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