How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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