How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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