How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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