How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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