How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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