How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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