How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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