How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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