How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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