How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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