How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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