How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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