How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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