How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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