How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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