How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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