How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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