How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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