How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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