How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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