How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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