How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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