How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.

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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!

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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.

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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.

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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!

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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!

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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.

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