How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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