How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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