How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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