How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.

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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.

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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.

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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.

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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.

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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva


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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"


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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper

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