How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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