How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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