How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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