How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.

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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.

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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.

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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?

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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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