How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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