How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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