How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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