How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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