How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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