How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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