How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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