How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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