How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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