How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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