How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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