How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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