How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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