How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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