How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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