How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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