How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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