How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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