How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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