How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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