How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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