How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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