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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What was the first animal in space?
The cow that jumped over the moon
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.
Blue sky at night: day.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?
Carlos.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can't tuna fish.
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What did one volcano say to the other?
I lava you.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?
It might be your bicycle.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?
Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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