How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.

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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.

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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.

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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.

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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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