How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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