How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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