How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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