How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.

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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish

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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic

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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.

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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.

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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!


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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.

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