How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.

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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.

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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan

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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights

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