How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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