How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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