How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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