How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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