How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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