How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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