How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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