How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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