How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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