How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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