How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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