How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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