How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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