How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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