How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.

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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky

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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.

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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.

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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras

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