How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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