6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
or
Chili
or
Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
or
He presses the paws button.
or
Three skunks fighting over a pickle
First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
or
Because all his other wives support Hillary.
or