How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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