How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.

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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."

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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year

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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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