How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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