How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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