How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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