How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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