How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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