How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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