How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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