How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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