How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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