How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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