How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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