How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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