How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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