How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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