How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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