How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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