How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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