How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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