How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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