How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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