How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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