How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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