How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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