How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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