How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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