How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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