How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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