How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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