How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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