How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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