How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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