How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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