How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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