How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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