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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?
Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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Why does cheese look sane?
Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?
Mice krispies
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What's the best parting gift?
A comb.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?
The price of bacon would go up.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring.
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How do you cut a wave in half?
Use a sea saw.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?
Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?
He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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