How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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