How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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