How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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