How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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