How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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