How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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