How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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