How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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