How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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