How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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