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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?
Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What pine has the longest needles?
A porcupine.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,
but I don't want one of them for my husband".
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?
A milkshake
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?
Virgin mobile.
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Where do mice park their boats?
At the hickory dickory dock.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?
Because he was bald!
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?
Camembert.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?
Halloumi.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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