How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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