How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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