How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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