How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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