How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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