How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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