How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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