How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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