How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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