How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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