How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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