How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.

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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!

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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.

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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."

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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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