How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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