How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.

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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies

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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.

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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.

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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.

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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.

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