How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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