How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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