How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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