How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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