How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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