How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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