How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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