How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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