How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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