How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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