How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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