How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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