How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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