How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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