How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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