How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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