How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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