How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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