How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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