How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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