How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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