How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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