How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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