How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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