How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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