How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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