How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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