How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.

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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!

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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car

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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth

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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.

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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!

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