How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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