How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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