How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.

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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.

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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.

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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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