How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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