How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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