How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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