How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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