How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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