How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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