How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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