How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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