How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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