How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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