How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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