How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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