How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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