How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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