How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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