How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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