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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What kind of flower has lips?
Two-lips!
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.
It came in at quarter past four.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?
The Trump Card
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.
The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?
Virgin mobile.
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What do birds say on Halloween?
Twick o tweet
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What do you give a lemon in distress?
Lemonade.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?
If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What kind of band can't play music?
A rubber band.
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