How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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