How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.

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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.

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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.

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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?

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