How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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