How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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