How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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