How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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