How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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