How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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