How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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