How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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