How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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