How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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