How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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