How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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