How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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