How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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