How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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