How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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