How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.

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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.

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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.

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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops

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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!

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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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