How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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