How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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