How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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