How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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