How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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