How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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