How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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