How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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