How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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