How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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