How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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