How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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