How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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