How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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