How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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