How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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