How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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