How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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