How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.

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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.

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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.

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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"

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