How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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