How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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