How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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