How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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