How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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