How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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