How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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