How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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