How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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