How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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