How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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