How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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