How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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