How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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