How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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