How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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