How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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