How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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