How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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