How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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