How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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