How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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