How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.

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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan

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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.

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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!

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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.

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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!

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