How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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