How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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