How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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