How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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