How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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