How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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