How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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