How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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