How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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