How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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