How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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