How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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A seal walks into a club...
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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