How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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