How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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