How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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