How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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