How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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