How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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