How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.

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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.

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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.

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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.

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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh

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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.

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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.

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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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