How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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