How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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