How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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