How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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