How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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