How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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