How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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