How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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