How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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