How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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