How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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