How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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