How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.

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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop

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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.

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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!

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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.

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