How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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