How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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