How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.

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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk

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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.

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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.

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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.

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