How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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