How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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