How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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