How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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