How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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