How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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