How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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