How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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