How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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