How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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