How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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