How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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