How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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