How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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