How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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