How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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