How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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