How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.

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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.

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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.

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