How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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