How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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