How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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