How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.

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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile

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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.


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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.

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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine

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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.

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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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