How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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