How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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