Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
or
A porcupine with split ends
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Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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Because he was outstanding in his field.
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and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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He took them to a pignic.
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but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.
or