How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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