How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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