How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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