How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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