How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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A seal walks into a club...
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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