How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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