How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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