How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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