How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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