How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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