How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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