How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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