How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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