How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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