How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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