How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.

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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.

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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.

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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday

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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.

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