How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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