How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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