How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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