How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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