How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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