How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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