How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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