How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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