How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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