How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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